In March 2010 I flew to Nadi, Viti Levu in Fiji to meet up with Jon “Do not call me Jonathan” Clark and Hilary “Maud” Hickmott. There was a lot of moaning from Clarkey and Maud about the length of their flights from the UK. Stoically I did not complain about the length of my flight from Sydney. Although admittedly I had enjoyed an overnight sleep by Nadi airport before meeting the pasty faced duo who were not looking too fresh from their travels. We took a taxi to Fiji’s capital Suva and the next day boarded Island Dancer II for a six day liveaboard trip.

First stop was Wakaya Island and Manta Rock where we did indeed see Manta Rays albeit not closely.  Afterwards Clarkey said it was “Nice to get wet again”, Maud said “Please go away”. The highlight of our next dive, at Wakaya Passage, was a White Ornate Ghost Pipefish spotted by Clarkey and then totally monopolised by Hickmott. Our third dive of the day was a drift dive along Wakaya Wall, our fourth a pinnacle called Christines Place by Makogai Island.  

Next day we moved onto Namena Marine Park for dives at North Save-A-Tack, Chimneys, Ulais Find and Kansas. Afterwards Clarkey said to me “It’s very annoying when you keep sneaking up behind me and stroking my hair”, Maud said “Please go away”. In the evening, “Do not call me Jonathan” and I undertook some Cava training, drinking a root which is ground to a powder and then mixed with water. I think we acquitted ourselves well but cannot seem to remember.

We stayed in Namena Marine Park for another day, diving North Save-A-Tack again, Kennans Reef, Magic Mountain/K2 and North Wall. Later Clarkey said "I’m having a great time - did you see those gorgeous soft corals?" Hickmott said "I've had camera problems - go away”.

Motoring on to Makogai Island, we dived Ricks Rocks and Pin Ball twice and getting bored on one of the dives, I hitched a ride on the back of Clarkey’s tank. Until he finally realised. In the evening, after failing to bribe enough of my shipmates, I was pressganged into being “Tribal Chief”.

We began the following day at Barracuda Point off Wakaya Island before travelling on to Gau Island for two dives on Nagali Wall and a night dive at Jim’s Alley. “Do not call me Jonathan” said “It was a lovely sunny day and amazing diving with loads of barracuda, jacks, large groupers, grey reef and whitetip reef sharks”. Maud said “My camera did not work - go away”.

Our liveaboard diving concluded the next morning by Gau Island with another dive at Jim's Alley and then our last dive at Anthias. Chuckling, Jon said “Hilary nearly sat on a scorpionfish” to which she replied “Go away”.